Cloaca Melodia

My life in concerts, by Mike Sauter.

7/29/1995

Lollapalooza 5

Sonic Youth/Hole/Cypress Hill/Pavement/Elastica/Beck/Mighty Mighty Bosstones

Downing Stadium, Randall's Island, New York, NY

In the weeks leading up to the show, drama was enveloping this tour. In Washington state on the 4th of July, there was an incident between Hole frontwoman Courtney Love and Bikini Kill singer Kathleen Hanna (which led to assault charges against Love, to which Love pleaded guilty).

post continues....

After the incident, Courtney posted a rambling description and history of the incident on an AOL message board. It gives an interesting snapshot of not only the culmination of this personal feud, but also the larger dynamics at work in the alt-rock 15 months after the death of Kurt Cobain and the dissolution of Nirvana.
Subj: Courtney Speaks
Date: 95-07-14 19:23:01 EDT
From: Courtney Love

Posted on: America Online (using MAC 2.5.1)

Ummm, one day I was standing around, I just got off a magnificent view with Mr. Farrell -- he had attempted to find Kurt the night he left the rehab and I haven't spoken to him since. Perry was pissed at me about the fact that I was not amused/happy to play with Snoop due to sexist/racist lyrical content-even in this wonderfully diverse world of ours...

It just bugged me, so about an hour into hanging out, I saw my friends/family of nearly 7 years, Lee, Kim and Thurston walking up with Kurt's worst enemy ever. This woman is a bit older than me (31) but calls herself a "grrrl."

I call her Ratface. Now that crazy acoustic cover singer stalker bugged Kurt in extremis, and me too especially after Kurt wrote a restraining order and she moved into our park. I noticed in this month's SPIN Issue Christina Kelly wrote a piece on the stalker....funny how PERSONALIZED the world is.....

Once these 2 girls were writing a -dead forever- Nirvana "Book"- I saw the transcript of Christina Kelley's comments on me...it was quite terrorizing-she had met me once at "Sassy"-- a Sassy writer at SPIN? isn't that an oxymoron? (heavy on the Moron) She's MEAN (e.g. a "Sassy " River Phoenix's band 'Aleka's Attic') wherein she called River's entire band and his own sister "ugly, very ugly" She also called me -- on this phone call "ugly" a "cunt" a "bitch" I was 25-26 and she said it "was obvious she's at least 35" etc. the kind of Grrrltalk we don't DO really.

Anyway on the piece on the stalker -- who has become VERY well known because after four years of being stalked I saw RED and she came up to me and I chased her down the street-to be honest she once gave Kurt a blow job in the back of their old ratty Van-But Christina will have you believe that she had a "romantic relationship" with my husband! Nutty! Also Christina wrote that she had "Nirvana's lawyer"-- Allen Grubman was NEVER Nirvana's lawyer- and even "Hole's booking agent"

By the time she was at our former-evil-booking agents We were long gone to the comforts of a really wonderful man at CAA. So she lied lied lied, well Ratface comes into this story very easily-she promoted the stalker woman-her "label" Is called "Kill Rock Stars" yet under a gentleman's agreement Slim Moon the (male) proprietor Kurt gave him an old Nirvana track "Beeswax"- the condition was that Slim Moon (who Kurt always told me he thought of as "slimy" thus the "Slim"?) would sell 1,000 0f these records at an elitist festival-promoting the "Revolution" of REALLY bad bands for the most part-oh of course and only on vinyl and "No Lackeys of the corporate ogre allowed" (I write this as Ian MacKaye/Fugazi just got 10 million from MCA....Wow! Some revolution!)-funny but Slim Moon ended up printing 150,000 of these "Kill Rock Stars" comps on CD, and kept every dime....no royalties...I heard a rumor that 7 Year Bitch got one but it turned out to be just that-

Slim went out with the stalker who had written in her press kit that VanBlowjob=Kurt's Fiancee-and she told everyone in Seattle/Olympia this too-I think maybe just to bother Kurt they supported the stalker in every way- Ratface joined a band with her- Slim Moon Became her boyfriend and sunk all that money-Kurt's money -at $2 at east a CD that means Slim Moon made 300 grand and that's a low estimate, into her "lifestyle" she's written 2 songs of her own, oh wait 3, all about me getting all of Kurt's money (very romantic for a psychotic non-relationship I must say) and about Kurt marrying her, poor Kurt, "the Blow Job from Hell" he called it, and tried to ignore it after a regional paper claimed I wrote them a letter when in fact Kurt had (obviously)

so here the rats nest of incestuous people- very jealous of Kurt, wanting what he has (a la Slim Moon) but not having it-Once Years and Years ago Ratface slept with a former member of Kurt's band, well, in imitation of the stalker she told a reporter he was her boyfriend....she told the same writer that we shouldn't be married, we were bad parents, and SHE WAS 19!

This upper middle class woman-entered college late and once after a show- Kurt had played "Polly"-she took about 6 of her coterie and they hooked arms in a "rape circle" They called him "RAPIST" loudly circling him- he was very scared and broke through running 8 blocks to his little apartment...

Ratface is an Hysteric-she has elevated weenie chopping to an art form, and I'm a militant feminist, her antics are funny, really funny, she faxed from Kill Rock Stars an "incident description" very boring until the end when she morphs into a 60 yr old People reader re: me

"SHE MUST BE STOPPED SHE IS A DANGER TO HERSELF HOW LONG MUST THIS GO ON, SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS GOING TO HAPPEN, WE MUST STOP HER NOW, SHE HAS HURT OTHERS BEFORE (Yeah I chased the stalker, Yelled at Slim Moon and Shoved famed 40 year old "love Rocker" and "Revolutionary" Calvin Johnson who made a fortune off of him and his icky girlfriends band 'Courtney Love'-funny that since 6th grade, other than the pit my violence tally!)

SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS, AL YOU MUSIC BUSINESS PROFESSIONALS...WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO STOP ENCOURAGING HER VIOLENT TEMPER AND TAKE A STAND? SHE MUST BE STOPPPEEEEDDDDDDDD!!!!!!"

Its so funny, I threw candy at Ratface, but she should have had the candy as bait since her and Ms. Gordon-Moore PLANNED that a physical altercation should occur-as Thursty writes-even down to the consequence of a feminist debate-but Ratface doesn't read or intellectualize-she yells and screams and "hates" boys all the while like any upper upper middle class lesbian-til-graduation-but- no-really-secret Alicia Silverstone/Heather type she flirts with the famous ones and sets her sights on punk rock heroes-unfortunately Ratface is just that-Ratfaced-very plain I'm afraid-so she is constantly disappointed, on top of which her band is REALLY bad, a universal opinion (groan-there is a teensy loyalist faction that likes her/them for their "politics" which is kinda like Jane hates Dick cos Dick has one)

the funny part is that as Kim (Ms Gordon-Moore) was purposefully parading Ratface in front of me on day one of what should be a cool sexless boring summer-better be worth the bucks-it was a territorial pissing and I'm so dumb I bought it, and poor Thurston- Guys just can tell Heathers from Geeks REALLY its just that simple-how could he know? She wasn't even INVITED-

I had a very great emotional talk with Thurston, I for one adore him, he is so charismatic, so sweet, so gentle, always good to Kurt to me...so I feel shitty even responding...to him esp. after working things out so well with him- truth be I fucking love that man... so what you can love someone that's married!

I don't love him like THAT! DUH! I just love his heart his soul, no one moves or leaves when he plays-no one ever has, well he'll probably get pissed as hell at me about this... I don't care- we spent-I did at least--INTENSE quality time regarding how I saw the bringing in of Ratface like a pig on a tray carried by centurions going "we, WE are Caesar", he just though they were bringing their lame-ass "pal" to the first day of Lolla- about the actual "altercation"

I was speaking to Beckster...Eric comes up behind me "Give some candy to Ratface, she'll Flip!" He said I turned quickly and she was 2-3 feet from me smugly glaring-"BLECCCCHHHH" I screamed threw the candy in the air and at her, every witness there saw her attack("") me first, I do believe eventually my fist-ahhhhh-met her Rathead and it was orgasmic- too bad the security-oh yeah "MY" security? I'm Axl Rose now? We have a co-tour mgr. who was there...

I really wish these big guys wouldn't stop these fights that have been brewing for 5 years! I'd love the outcome! Hell I'd love an excellent fight with a total vile enemy of myself my family and the people such ass Ratface or the Stalker! Hell yeah! The KOOOOL thing is that I finally get to sue Slim Moon? The Rock Stars Pal, Ratface's label, and get Kurt's money back, maybe Ill even pay royalties to the OTHER band s on the comp!!!!

WOW! What an Original concept! Since I get to do a civil suite for malice, preplanning an assault and hey, first slap gets the fine, I'm almost ,though not quite as happy as if those big guys had just let me expel my RAGE onto that shrill crazed idiot! Would you like for me to say I hate violence? Well I certainly don't have an extensive PHYSICAL record of it just the Olympia 3, but it IS like sex with someone you love only the inverse-its HATE with someone you HATE, and hate is bad.....

I think....

Anyway as far as the general vibe of Lolla...its nothing its boring sexless and elitist as it was always going to be ( except Cypress and SY on main stage) I know saying SY is not elitist is another oxymoron but some nights they rock great-its not too fair and I haven't seen Sinead, some people thought we wouldn't get along...that is so cruel and so dark, why on earth would I hurt or be mean or cold to someone that young when he s gone through that much because of what she believed in? Why? Maybe Christina Kelly, The Stalker, or Ratface (sounds kinda like Gotham huh?) would cos they are just plain mean and varying degrees of insane!!!!!

Backstage is fine-hell I haven't even seen Beck so I cant say. Hung with a really nice guy from the Jesus Lizard yesterday....the production staff are all nice they set up lil Sega booths and coffee stands, after Ratface's attack I sent The Bean home the energy- MY energy wasn't pure and I didn't know if this was like a daily plan to dig up someone i really really loathe but now she's coming back, I thought Coco might be to small to play with but she's not and I love her nanny Maurice he's like our nanny Cally's Dopelganger-

Coco's a tough one just like Frances-the big Leo- Coco's July 1 the big Cancer (like me and Beck our Birthdays were a day apart...he's probably Drew's age and I'm Um now its happened and I don to want to talk about it!) it all seems to be like something that went over most concerned's head...not Ratface's and maybe not some others but anyone I care about would take a beating maybe a bullet for its just a stupid bored jealous nutty Woman(women?) plan to make me mad, but everything fine ..especially performing late with the dark...

so much more mojo in the dark- no really offensive band shirts one of the major plusses of an elitistish festival- not like Bombastic hell Reading...I will be happier/much when the Bean comes back... I called an ex Boyfriend who happens to hate me cos I got a husband and ten later when he was my ex boyfriend again he wasn't my ex boyfriend anymore- and then one day I was really stupid and I went out with someone he hates tons- his personal Ratface-who turned out to be the dumbest boy I ever did ,on a lot of levels (he was a kind of cool friend....) and so my e Boyfriend became my EX-SUPER-PISSED AND- ANGRY boyfriend, But I still love him, which is pathetic, somehow we were on the phone for 5 hours and I sniveled and groveled and he told me what a piece of shit I was...

but the next day I discovered coffee and we played an excellent show on the 10th in sync with love/hate/catharsis/restraint and Kurt in a big ole blue moon laughing "HA" that I got to finally punch Ratface ( I DO believe in wrathful deities/forces of nature!) and EVERYTHING'S FINE! And Coco Haley and Frances Bean will become best friends and fight over boys and their stupid parents forever..

the end

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